An Update as of 10/21/12

Life is a wonderful, crazy, amazing journey for the healthiest of us, so I can only imagine how foreign and challenging life feels right now for Bob. Upon his release from the rehab center on Friday, Bob has repeatedly stated how "awake and alive" he feels, but also how he doesn't feel like himself. This confusing dynamic can lead to some stress and anxiety, which in turn taxes Bob's brain. When his brain becomes overly taxed, Bob appears to have tremors in his hands and difficulty breathing. He describes this feeling sometimes as "weird" and other times as being "woozy."

On Friday evening, Bob appeared to have a seizure and Megan, Laurel, and Grandpa had to have the paramedics come in an evaluate him. Luckily Bob was well-supervised when the possible seizure happened, and he was able to communicate with Megan and the paramedics within seconds of having the episode. This, along with a consultation with Byrn, gave Megan and Bob the confidence to allow Bob to remain at the condo that night and not return to the hospital setting he had so happily left earlier in the day.

Saturday was a joyful day for both Bob and Megan. The day began with Evan, Everest, and I surprising Bob by sitting in the living room of the condo when he awoke for the day. The smile on Bob's face when he saw Everest could have been seen all the way in Columbus and Chicago. He beamed and happily stated, "Good morning, Everest Gray!" Megan spent the morning at the spa with Laurel, where she had a body wrap and massage. 

While Megan was at the spa, Bob spent time playing with Everest and stretching his legs on the balcony of their condo. He claimed that the fresh air was "invigorating to his soul." As he stood on the balcony, his childhood friend, Jim turned the corner and Bob immediately shouted out, "Hey, Jim! How's it going?" While Jim was entering the building, Bob once again beamed and repeatedly told me how "incredible" it was to have confidently and quickly recognized Jim.

Throughout this entire process, Bob and Megan have continuously been blessed by gifts from friends, both big and small. Megan has repeatedly stated that she feels like this experience has been sprinkled with miracles and that everyone who has visited, has arrived just at the perfect time when they were needed. Jim's visit was no different. 

Jim brought a truly inspirational gift with him-- a 24 page, single-spaced memoir that he had written over the past month about his life with Bob. Jim had e-mailed this document to Megan before he arrived and Bob had spent much of the early hours on Saturday morning reading through it. When Jim arrived, he and Bob discussed various events they've jointly experienced. Many of the early memories were easy for Bob to recall, including the lyrics to a musical they performed in their middle school church group! When Jim would bring up more recent events, such as his daughter's wedding this summer, Bob would have a difficult time remembering the event, if he remembered any of it all. This lack of memory for more recent events was saddening to Bob, but with prompting he was typically able to use his strong deduction and reasoning skills to come to a better understanding of the events that took place.

That afternoon, Jim, Megan, Bob, Evan, Everest and I all went for a walk on UVa's campus and had lunch at a Mediterranean restaurant. Bob learned two new things at the restaurant: 1) How to stop eating when you're feeling hungry (something he's struggled with much of his life) and 2) How to stop and take a quiet moment to savor the important things in life. In an attempt to help Bob solidify his short-term memories, Evan decided to introduce the strategy of taking quiet pauses throughout the day so Bob can internalize his experiences. This strategy also has the effect of providing Bob with some quite peacefulness, which his brain is desperately in need of.

During our walk around campus, Bob had a minor spell, but was cognizant enough to warn us of how he was feeling. We rested until the spell passed and then Evan drove Bob and Megan back to the condo where Bob could rest. After a brief nap, Bob returned to quietly socializing with Jim, Megan, Evan and I. He continued to want to discuss his situation and process through what had happened to him. He frequently repeated himself, but was aware of this and many times would say, "I think I might have said this before." or "Stop me if I've already told you this." This awareness of his looping conversations is an improvement since we last saw him two weeks ago. Forward progress!

That evening, Bob had another spell after talking on the phone with his good friend, Doug. We are assuming that this spell was due to being overly excited about rediscovering his life while talking to Doug. This spell passed quickly, however, and Bob was able to remain once again at the condo.

According to both Bob and Megan, Bob slept well Saturday evening. This morning, Evan and I awoke to an email from Bob's cell phone. In the e-mail, Bob informed us how much he loved us and appreciated how we have supported Megan throughout this "crisis." He also said that he was excited to see us "whenever you come next,," despite being told multiple times yesterday that he would be seeing us again on Sunday.

Due to the number of tremors and spells Bob had Friday and Saturday, Megan scheduled a meeting with one of Bob's ICU doctor's this morning. Eva, Everest, and I met Bob and Megan at the hospital and Bob was once again shocked to see us. Again he beamed when he saw and greeted Everest. During our meeting with Bob's doctor, Bob again became anxious and needed to step away from the conversation to calm himself. Luckily Everest is a cute distraction!

This afternoon was spent quietly resting at the condo and relaxing. Bob spoke at length today about the book he plans to write about this experience and we laughed as we all brain stormed various subtitles to accompany the amazing title he's already created. As we chatted today, Bob expressed incredible gratitude towards for his friends and family for everything they've done for him. He is especially grateful to Megan and Bryn. He continues to have his great sense of humor and his ability to embarrass me.  I'll admit that I embarrass easily, but I've also told Bob that I am going to use this opportunity to teach him some manners! He chuckled at this thought.

Overall, Bob appears to be making forward progress. Evan described it to him as though each week he turned a new corner, but that he hadn't turned on big corner like he would hope. As Evan said, "Dad, you have many corners to turn, so don't get discouraged." He's been informed by Bryn that he can make a full recovery, but that this will take time. At times Bob becomes saddened by his poor short-term memory, but he is working on erasing these negative thoughts from his mind and focusing on the positive. His greatest strength is his ability to live in the moment and he is drawing great joy and hope from his daily interactions with people. It is our hope that these moments of happiness will carry him down the road of healing. 

My request to you is that you too find ways to live in the moment, like Bob, and that you find and celebrate the joy around you. This is one of the greatest lessons Bob has been teaching me and I'm proud to share that with you.

-Michelle