Life
is more and more taking on the shape of normal life, but there are
certainly plenty of differences. The biggest difference is Bob himself.
In his heightened emotional state, he is easily moved to tears by
touching things that happen, like the parade of yellow, green, and
orange postcards that continue to arrive to let Bob know that people are
still thinking of him. Bob feels very connected to all living things in
our surroundings, especially to a bald eagle he has nicknamed Apollo
who has been frequenting the neighborhood and sometimes perches in one
of the oak trees in our yard to check in on Bob. Bob is very sweet and
wants to do anything that he can to help me.
Bob
has no real conception of the passage of time, so he has lost a sense
of time-urgency that has too often characterized our lives. Bob eats
more slowly than I do now, and doesn’t ever seem to be in a hurry. One
of my pet peeves throughout our marriage has been when Bob gets intent
on where he’s going and ends up walking several feet in front of me. Now
I’m the one trying to squeeze too many errands into too short a time,
and sometimes I pull up short realizing that I’m walking ahead of him!
At those times, I try to slow down and hold hands so that we walk at a
compromise pace. But it reminds me once again to be careful what I get
annoyed at other people about!
Without
such a sense of urgency to be rushing out the door, Bob is now more
likely to tell me ‘You look nice!” And I’m more likely to be the one too
intent on trying to make sure I’ve remembered everything that I’m too
distracted to stop to take it in.
Coping
with a poor memory has also brought changes to our lives. Bob has
always been a voracious reader and one of my challenges in keeping the
house in some semblance of order has been having to cope with the stacks
of reading material near each of his favorite reading spots. Now that
he can’t remember what he’s read, reading has lost much of its appeal.
What Bob is enjoying in its place is listening to music. He has
especially enjoying listening to music from the 70’s and 80’s. Our
friend Jim sent Bob a CD of the Crash Test Dummies, who we had
completely forgotten about! Now Bob has purchased newer CDs from some of
his favorite artists to have new things to listen to. So stacks of
books have been replaced by stacks of CDs and vinyl records.
Things
that have stayed the same are that Bob is still the primary cook in our
house. He not only enjoys it more, he is much better than me. We have
enjoyed some very delicious concoctions lately. In contrast, the other
day I attempted to make some homemade chicken soup in the crock pot.
When I thought it was about ready I asked Bob to taste it and doctor it
up if he thought it needed it. “A bucket of water!” was his assessment.
He went to work to spice it up and it turned into something yummy after
all. And then this newly romantic husband of mine wanted to dine on
chicken soup by candlelight!
Bob
is also enjoying getting back to his writing. And he has especially
enjoyed co-teaching in our Evocative Coaching classes with our fabulous
faculty.
There
are still things that come up unexpectedly from time to time that
remind us that his brain is still healing. On Thursday, we went to the
dentist for a teeth cleaning and that turned out to be a bigger deal
than I anticipated. They had to do an extra deep cleaning because
apparently having been in the coma allowed bacteria to get deep into his
gums. All of the noise and rattling of his head during the cleaning
left Bob pretty unsteady on his feet for the next 24 hours or so. Then
yesterday, he had an MRI, which was also noisy. Today he has felt a
little dizzy at intervals, but is feeling better now.
Thank you for your continued caring, and interest in Bob’s healing, and for the prayers that have sustained his healing.
-Megan
Megan, what a lovely way to live! I want to be more like how you described Bob in this post.
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this touching entry about Bob's and your life trek.