Our
 big news this weekend is that on this upcoming Friday Bob will 
“graduate” from inpatient rehab and to return to life in the “real” 
world! Our plan is to stay in Charlottesville in the condominium for the
 first two weeks in order for Bob to continue outpatient rehab at Health
 South and to be near his doctors here at UVA. We then plan to make the 
transition back home to Williamsburg on November 3rd. 
There
 will certainly be challenges ahead in making these moves, but I think 
these are going to be really important steps in healing Bob’s memory. 
One of the challenges will be that Bob is still rebuilding his physical 
strength from his month on inactivity. He is now beginning to get around
 using the walker rather than the wheelchair, except for longer jaunts 
like our daily walk outside, which he enjoys tremendously. We have been 
having some lovely fall days here in Charlottesville. The bigger 
challenge is going to be learning live safely with Bob having such an 
impaired short-term memory. His sense of time and space also seem to be 
pretty impaired as well. We are very hopeful that all of these things 
will heal in time and that he can make a full recovery. But progress is 
likely to be incremental and take some months, so we are going to have 
to establish new routines and patterns of living in the meantime. 
The
 good news is that Bob is continues to have a very positive attitude and
 has a strong desire to do the work needed to get better. He is 
accepting of the feedback that his conversation is repeating itself and 
he is even starting to have some awareness himself when he is saying the
 same things over and over again. He has begun to keep a journal where 
he captures his thoughts as well as his activities at several points 
throughout the day. That is proving to be very helpful and is giving him
 some perspective of the passage of time. I am guessing that this will 
be one of the strategies that we maintain and rely on throughout this 
healing process. I’m sure we will invent others as well. Michelle shared
 with Bob an analogy that she uses with her students, many of whom 
struggle with memory issues. She tells them that their brain is like a 
house where the electricity is not working well, so what we can do is to
 make sure that there are lots and lots of flashlights in the house. 
Those flashlights are the strategies that we can learn to use. From the 
outside, people are going to see lights on in the house, but only you 
are going to know that you are using strategies, or flashlights. (When 
Michelle shared this analogy with Bob, he added “Yeah, they also won’t 
know how many batteries I’m using up!). 
Bob
 is also his sweet loving self. He recognizes the people he knows and 
loves and that is a blessing. He enjoys having visitors and talking on 
Skype with family members. He also enjoys looking at family photos, even
 though he is a little overwhelmed at remembering so little about the 
context of the pictures. A coaching colleague reminded Bob that he was 
having the opportunity to practice IAC coaching mastery #4: Processing 
in the Present. Somehow there have got to be some important lessons in 
that!

 
Ms. T, don't forget to take care of yourself, too! You are an important part of Bob's recovery. My husband went through a similar trauma back in March and I did not realize it at the time, but I was ever grateful when people asked about me. It really helps! I am keeping you and Bob in my prayers and I am amazed at his recovery!
ReplyDeleteBest,
Joann (Rude) VanDerpoel, a former coachee of Bob's